Auntie Gammi...

Any questions you may have on sexual related topics, ask here and I'll answer 'em for you as best I can

I have slept with this girl a few times and all she bloody does is squirt evrywhere. Ceiling, kitchen tiles on the dog's on stilts.

What can I do, it's driving me mad.

Dear Auntie Gammi.

I recently rocked up at the doctor's and explained I had a sexual problem. After flopping my manhood on the table, the doctor found a small sttering wheel on the end of my womb-weapon.

"What the fuck is THAT???" he exclaimed.

"I don't know", I replied...


"But it's driving me nuts!!!"





What do you think I should do now?

Clark Kent wrote:

I have slept with this girl a few times and all she bloody does is squirt evrywhere. Ceiling, kitchen tiles on the dog's on stilts.

What can I do, it's driving me mad.

Oh dear...

But hell i'd love to be able to do that, apparently there is a technique?? Gammi any tip's?

Clark Kent wrote:

I have slept with this girl a few times and all she bloody does is squirt evrywhere. Ceiling, kitchen tiles on the dog's on stilts.

What can I do, it's driving me mad.

hi...

i masturbated once during a full moon and soon fell pregnant. can you explain the mechanics of this for me?

urinefacewash wrote:

hi...

i masturbated once during a full moon and soon fell pregnant. can you explain the mechanics of this for me?

Well you don't need Gammi to explain it. It's bloody OBVIOUS!!!!

In the midst of self-flunging you must have mistakenly inserted you penilicuar proboscis into your rectal rumtunnel and explungiated within yourself. This practice if often referred to as "ferniculation".

You should see GP and declare very loudly in the waiting room,

"My name is UFW and I'm a preggo-pervy-ferniculating-flunger!!!"



Believe me, they'll greet you with open arms.





...Or else run like fucking hell!!!

hahahahahaha

Jeremy Vyle wrote:

Dear Auntie Gammi.

I recently rocked up at the doctor's and explained I had a sexual problem. After flopping my manhood on the table, the doctor found a small sttering wheel on the end of my womb-weapon.

"What the fuck is THAT???" he exclaimed.

"I don't know", I replied...


"But it's driving me nuts!!!"





What do you think I should do now?

stop being such an asshole...?

halfassedmonkeyboy wrote:

Jeremy Vyle wrote:

Dear Auntie Gammi.

I recently rocked up at the doctor's and explained I had a sexual problem. After flopping my manhood on the table, the doctor found a small sttering wheel on the end of my womb-weapon.

"What the fuck is THAT???" he exclaimed.

"I don't know", I replied...


"But it's driving me nuts!!!"





What do you think I should do now?

stop being such an asshole...?

Try getting a brain, a sense of humour and a life. They're apparently doing a "three-for-two" offer in Lidl...

Jeremy Vyle wrote:

halfassedmonkeyboy wrote:

Jeremy Vyle wrote:

Dear Auntie Gammi.

I recently rocked up at the doctor's and explained I had a sexual problem. After flopping my manhood on the table, the doctor found a small sttering wheel on the end of my womb-weapon.

"What the fuck is THAT???" he exclaimed.

"I don't know", I replied...


"But it's driving me nuts!!!"





What do you think I should do now?

stop being such an asshole...?

Try getting a brain, a sense of humour and a life. They're apparently doing a "three-for-two" offer in Lidl...

wow did you have to use both hands to do that sum? cock

Clark Kent wrote:

I have slept with this girl a few times and all she bloody does is squirt evrywhere. Ceiling, kitchen tiles on the dog's on stilts.

What can I do, it's driving me mad.

Fuckwit!!!! you're not allowed to post in here!!!

any serious questions... you can PM me and I'll do it all anonymous like

halfassedmonkeyboy wrote:

Jeremy Vyle wrote:

halfassedmonkeyboy wrote:

Jeremy Vyle wrote:

Dear Auntie Gammi.

I recently rocked up at the doctor's and explained I had a sexual problem. After flopping my manhood on the table, the doctor found a small sttering wheel on the end of my womb-weapon.

"What the fuck is THAT???" he exclaimed.

"I don't know", I replied...


"But it's driving me nuts!!!"





What do you think I should do now?

stop being such an asshole...?

Try getting a brain, a sense of humour and a life. They're apparently doing a "three-for-two" offer in Lidl...

wow did you have to use both hands to do that sum? cock

Please excuse the interjection but if you look at your hands you'll notice FIVE digits on both sides.

And as far as cocks go... You sound like you're surfing way to many left-handed websites. lol

Sticking up for Jeremy hey Orion!!! Community spirit well done

dear gammikins,

i recently met a girl who asked me to kill her. i would like to know your opinion on a good suit for court dates.

thanks.

urinefacewash wrote:

dear gammikins,

i recently met a girl who asked me to kill her. i would like to know your opinion on a good suit for court dates.

thanks.

I think you should go with midnight blue suit, pale blue shirt and a red tie

with or without the gasmask?

urinefacewash wrote:

with or without the gasmask?

I'd bring it with... you never know when it could come in handy

Dear Gammi,

I find myself laughing uncontrollably at this thread..

Whats should I do?

Erm, sex

L, Midlands

Dear Auntie Gammi,

This morning whilst stroking my testicles with a brillo pad, I had a thought that I wanted some peanut butter.

What does this mean. Am I pervert?

Thank you

Smartypants wrote:

Dear Gammi,

I find myself laughing uncontrollably at this thread..

Whats should I do?

Erm, sex

L, Midlands

Dear L,

You need to desentise yourself to sexual stupidness... I advise you masterbate furiously while watching the life of Brian. If that doesn't work, there's no hope you you!

Clark Kent wrote:

Dear Auntie Gammi,

This morning whilst stroking my testicles with a brillo pad, I had a thought that I wanted some peanut butter.

What does this mean. Am I pervert?

Thank you

No, it simply means the brilo pad you were using was too worn. Go buy a new one and rub harder, really scrub the dangly bastards, then you won't be able to think of anything

Gammi wrote:

Clark Kent wrote:

Dear Auntie Gammi,

This morning whilst stroking my testicles with a brillo pad, I had a thought that I wanted some peanut butter.

What does this mean. Am I pervert?

Thank you

No, it simply means the brilo pad you were using was too worn. Go buy a new one and rub harder, really scrub the dangly bastards, then you won't be able to think of anything

No, that's bad advice. You are trying to hurt me. I am gonna get tregard from Knightmare to give me some proper advice. He knows best.